And Then Comes the Meltdown
When Bink was about two weeks old, I had a tiny emotional breakdown. Two weeks of no sleep, not spending enough time with Hubby, nursing around the clock, and being bossed around by an eight pound tyrant had taken their toll. Plus Bink and I really struggled with nursing at first, which just added more extra stress and guilt.
I remember sitting next to Hubby on the couch in our basement and sobbing with Bink in my arms. I was just so damn tired. It was too hard. I missed our old life when we both got to sleep in the same bed instead of someone constantly being up with a newborn who had his days and nights confused.
Grayson turned two weeks old on Tuesday and, apparently using the same schedule for complete and total exhaustion as last time, I melted down yesterday. Tuesday night was especially hard, with Grayson getting up to nurse more frequently than normal. Instead of sleeping in two hour chunks, I was lucky to get one hour blocks uninterrupted.
This time around I’d learned from my mistakes. I don’t spend all night fighting with Grayson to sleep in his crib at the expense of my own sleep. Right now he’s spending his nights strapped into his car seat in our bedroom. I don’t get up and go downstairs to nurse so I don’t bother anyone. Now I just pop him out of the car seat, sit up in bed, and nurse. And I made the decision to give Grayson a pacifier waaaaay earlier than the recommended four weeks for breastfed babies. I don’t even think he was four days old before I popped one in his mouth. It makes everyone happier and he has had no problems figuring out which nipple supplies the milk around here.
Even with all those advancements since the last go round, I’m pretty exhausted. My breakdown yesterday cams from a dirty kitchen, an unorganized refrigerator, and piles upon piles on the counter. I stood in the kitchen and wept with the refrigerator door open out of sheer sleep deprivation.
And just like last time, the minute it was over, I felt a little more like myself. Apparently my stress needs to come out my eyeballs for it to go away.
My kitchen is still a mess. But there are only two more weeks until he can have a bottle and I can have one glorious night of uninterrupted sleep.
And that’s something to look forward to.
Grayson’s Newborn Photo Shoot
Ever since finding out I was pregnant, I became completely obsessed with doing a proper newborn photo shoot with Grayson. I did one with Bink, but I honestly had no idea what I was doing. I used a point and shoot camera and a white blanket as a backdrop. And while they are not the [...]
Life with a Newborn {Round 2}
Grayson is two weeks old today. These two weeks have flown past, so much faster than I remember time moving with Bink. The entire process of taking care of newborn feels easier and harder at the same time, something I never could have understood until he arrived. The biggest difference from Bink’s wee-little days is [...]
Home Again, Home Again
We’re back at home and (mostly) settled. Our days are filled with as much of this as we can manage:
Almost Time
(New spoiler: I wrote this post Monday. There is in fact a new baby) (I’ll start this post with the spoiler that everyone is fine and there is no baby yet) Last Friday I got into (stupid, annoying, inconvenient) car accident on my way to work. Driving in rush hour, bumper to bumper traffic, the [...]
Grayson Coulter
We got a little bit of a surprise today… Grayson arrived a week early. Long story, barely made it to the hospital, perfect baby boy. Grayson Coulter 7:41 pm 20.5 inches long 8 pounds 3 ounces Everyone is doing well. Please excuse me while I unplug and enjoy the new baby scent for a while.
Maternity Portraits
With Bink, I planned out a maternity portrait session weeks in advance. I collected inspiration pictures. I had my Mom take 487 pictures of me, Hubby, and K to document my gigantic belly. This time around…well, I just never found the time. I’ve been meaning to plan something for months. I’ve even been collecting inspiration [...]
Happy Birthday to Me
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Family Manifesto
Almost a year ago I got it in to my head that I wanted to create a family manifesto to display in our house. I’d seen a gorgeous example in a post on Alphamom.com that explained how they went about deciding what to include. Giddy with excitement, I quizzed Hubby at lunch one day for [...]
Valentine’s Day: Then & Now
Last week marked my sixth Valentine’s day with Hubby. Our first Valentine’s Day together in 2006, way back before we were even engaged, we went out to dinner together. We took silly pictures in a photo booth and he sent me flowers to my office. The next Valentine’s Day we were engaged. I’m sure had [...]
Instagram Update
At my 37 week OB appointment last Thursday I thought I finally had it all figured out. My appointment was for 9:45 am, which meant she obviously wouldn’t see me until at least 11 am. I decided I’d be super productive and put together a blog post on my phone. I go to work putting [...]
Project 365
As one of my more ambitious goals for 2011, I decided to take part in Project 365–a photo a day, every day, in 2011. It was way more challenging than it sounds and I can’t tell you how many times I was scrambling to take picture at 10 pm so I didn’t miss a day. [...]
Almost There
Yesterday marked 37 weeks of pregnancy for me and Grayson. It is exciting to know that we are in a good place if he decides to come early. But mostly it is nice to know there is an end in sight. Sometime in the next three weeks (or, I suppose, five weeks at most) we’ll [...]
Preschool Problems
I came to an interesting realization last week as I started checking out preschools for Bink…I’d clearly already ruined his chances of getting in to college. Before starting my search, I mentally patted myself on the bat. It was only February. I was so on top of things to get this done before the new [...]
Teaching a Toddler About a New Baby
Hubby and I have been trying for the past few months to prepare Bink for the impending arrival of his new little brother. As you can imagine with a two-year-old, that’s mostly been falling on deaf ears. Then about a month ago, Bink has suddenly become all about Grayson. I think it started when he [...]
