Miscarriage

On September 30th, 2010, I learned that I had a miscarriage.  I found out at my 12 week ultrasound appointment.  The baby had passed away three weeks prior, according to the doctor’s estimate of his size.  I left that appointment feeling crushed and not sure how I would cope.

The next day, just before my D&C, I wrote about it.  While it is not a pleasant topic, my posts about pregnancy loss are probably the best I’ve ever written.  They are the most honest, personal, and raw I’ve ever been in front of a general audience.  That genuine emotion must have translated to my readers, because I continue to receive comments and emails about those posts.

My series of posts about my miscarriage are below, as well as links to other posts and sites that were helpful to me while I was grieving.

Not So Much (my first attempt at writing after)

The After (struggling with how to remember our lost baby)

Regrets (what I’ll do differently next time)

Today (two weeks later)

One Month Later (getting a little easier to get by)

Trying Again (thinking about future pregnancy)

I bought this necklace a couple of days after as a reminder of the baby we lost.  It helped me to have something concrete to touch when I felt like I needed something to hold on to.

The best resources I’ve found:

Eighteen Attempts At Writing About a Miscarriage (the best, most related essay I’ve ever read on the topic)

I Am The Face (amazing organization bringing together parents who have lost babies)

Facts About Miscarriage (lots of health information, but also ideas for remembering lost babies)

Glow In The Woods (blog, stories, support for “babylost parents”)

Miscarriage still seems to be taboo to talk about for some reason.  Even I, while I was being very open on my blog, never told some of my friends.  My goal is making this topic a permanent page in my blog to let others know I’ve been there. A friend compared it to a secret sorority you hope that you are never become part of.  If you ever find yourself part of this miserable society and need a guide, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

While there isn’t anything besides time that I’ve found really heals the loss, having someone to talk to who knows does make the journey a little more bearable.  I’ve been lucky enough to have that kind of support from my family, friends, and blog readers, and I’d be glad to provide that support to others.

{For JRW. 9.30.10}